A blueprint as you foray into intimate partner relationships

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By N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe
New Delhi, Jan 21 (IANSlife) You can ask your parents a thousand questions about relationships. But how frequently do we take that route? We are often too preoccupied with our daily lives to conduct meaningful interactions. Furthermore, having meaningful talks with our parents and relatives is sometimes overlooked. Deep conversations are difficult to initiate for a variety of reasons. One major explanation is that humans assume that time stops for them. As a result, we repeatedly put it off till another day.

No matter the situation, we must have deep and meaningful conversations with our parents. There are insights and wisdom that only life experiences provide. And as our parents, they will always have more experiences. Having a solid relationship with our parents will make us stronger and wiser and give us insights into life – their advice can guide us in challenging times.

Sheetal Shaparia, Life coach and Relationship expert said: “As a child ages, having relationship-related discussions with their parents is crucial. The more a parent and child can have productive conversations regarding relationships, the more sure of themselves the children will be. In many cases, it will help the kids know their worth and how to draw boundaries. Therefore, the bonus of asking the right questions and following that advice is on the children.”

Here are a few questions you can ask your parents to have a strong relationship suggests Sheetal:

This will strengthen and create more understanding between parents and children. It will make the children see their parents differently – as individuals. And it will allow the parents to share their life experiences.

Parent-children relationship questions:

When did you know you were ready to become a parent?
Was I a difficult child?
What was life like when you were my age?
Is there any particular activity you like doing with me?
What is it like seeing your children become adults?
How did you handle work and family life when you were younger?
If today is the last day on earth, how would you spend it?
Is there a secret hobby or passion that you are yet to fulfill?
What is your biggest regret?
What makes you happy?
Which life experience impacted you the most? Both positively and negatively.

Intimate partner relationship questions:

What attracted you to your partner?
What is the one quality in a partner that one shouldn’t compromise on?
How do you know if someone is the right person?
How do you know they’ll complement you in life?
What is an essential thing to maintain a healthy and robust relationship?
The number one thing to look for in a partner?
Have you ever been cheated on? How did you handle the situation?
What are the signs or red flags to look for in a relationship?
How do you determine if what you bring to the table is enough to maintain a healthy relationship?
How do you assess yourself and the relationship?
When is the right time to say I love you to the other person?
What is the most attractive quality to look for in a partner?
What do adjustment and compromise look like in real life?
How do you determine how to raise kids?
How do you reach a compromise if there is a conflict of interest in parenting style?
Career over the relationship; how do you decide?

It may seem uncomfortable to ask your parents these questions. But they can act like a blueprint as you foray into intimate partner relationships. The conversation’s quality and depth will depend on your relationship with your parents.

People’s lives are often predictable, and their thoughts and emotions are not original to a singular person. Over time, shared experiences can lead to more awareness among people. This makes asking for meaningful life and relationship advice from parents crucial. It is important to note that it is not enough to ask questions but to practice the changes. This will make you a more evolved individual who can bring the best version of yourself to the table.

(N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe can be contacted at lothungbeni.h@ians.in)

(IANSlife can be contacted at ianslife@ians.in)

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